Down a black (shirt) hole…

This morning I was trying to figure out what to wear, and thought to myself that maybe it was time for some new shirts.

Most of my clothes come from thrift stores; here and there something will catch my eye and I’ll buy it, but having such a motley assortment of clothing makes it hard for me to get dressed in the morning. It takes way too long to figure out what goes with what. I have certain combinations that I know from previous experience (and double checking with my partner) work, but I know that it’s considered odd to wear the same things over and over so I try to match clothes up in different ways now and then, which takes way too damned long and causes me too much stress in the morning.

With previous jobs I had, I actually liked when I had to wear a uniform or company shirts because it took the decision out of my hands. And when I left the last such job and started my current one almost three years ago, I splurged and bought a few long sleeved polo shirts from an online retailer. The shirts were pricey, so I bought a couple of the lower-end, cheaper ones, and then scrounged the clearance page for bargains. I ended up getting what would have been, new, a fifty dollar shirt for less than ten bucks. It was soft 100% cotton, and had cuffed sleeves and fit just right. The catch? It was ‘spice orange’.

I actually really don’t care for the color orange, and quickly discovered that, even worse, it’s some sort of team color for a football (I think?) team so every time I wore it I would get comments about showing team spirit or people trying to engage me in sports talk. I really, really hate sports – a topic for another posts some time, perhaps – but I liked the shirt enough to wear it in spite of the yucky color and the unwanted attention it sometimes called.

Since my diagnosis, I’ve been trying to make changes in my life to make things easier for myself and have been thinking of just gradually replacing my clothes with mostly black ones as they wear out. Black goes with everything and I like black. I like purple too, but I’m picky about my purples, and purple goes with black too. So this morning I thought to myself “I can afford to maybe buy a couple of shirts, and I’ll just get some like the orange one, but in black.”

Apparently they don’t make that exact style any more. I lost well over an hour trying to find something comparable – after all, I just wanted a black long sleeve polo, how hard could that be?

Well, OK, more like a black long sleeve 100% cotton polo. Actually, a black long sleeve 100% cotton soft fine weave polo. But with ribbed cuffs. And no more than 3 buttons and it has to button all the way up to my neck. And not too thin. The bottom needs to be neatly hemmed, even if it is going to be tucked in and no one will ever see. The buttons should be black, and not too shiny. Or too big. Or fancy. No pockets. No logos.  No fancy stitching, pleats, or weird shoulders. No pointy collar. Not too ‘girly’ cut, and not so long it will bunch up weird when I tuck it in (I tend to buy men’s shirts, but the length is the only problem I tend to have with them) but long enough that it won’t come untucked. Not grey black, not blue black, just black. Not shiny.

One store’s shirts had bad reviews about shrinking, another about excessive pilling, and another had a few complaints about the button holes being too big and the buttons coming undone all the time. This store had cheaper shirts but charged shipping, that store had more expensive shirts but free shipping. Does it equal out? What shipping zone is my zip code in?

Oh screw it, maybe I don’t need any new shirts right now.

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5 thoughts on “Down a black (shirt) hole…

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  1. I totally know what you mean. I don’t have good ideas yet to navigate between men’s and women’s, casual and work styles, because I don’t get it myself. there should DEFINITELY be some marketer to

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Er, sorry, had an app malfunction there. Meant there should be some market to provide a filter for people to sort through options based on priorities such a material, pockets, fabric softness, closure type, etc., and other clothing issues that really matter.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yes, I wish there was something like that. I hate women’s clothes, but men’s don’t always fit me right. That’s one reason I shop at thrift stores mostly – you can’t get women’s jeans – or even Dockers – without spandex nowadays, and super short waist. Ugh.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Oh god yes! I frequently experience this myself 💞 Awesome post! You flesh out your thoughts very nicely 😊

    Cheers!
    ~The Silent Wave Blog writer

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw, thanks. I thought it was actually pretty rough, but I’ve been trying to just write something and get it out there now and then, rough or not, rather than ceaselessly re-editing what I’ve written or not even trying because I know I’ll make a big production out of it. I have one post that’s still sitting in my drafts because I keep tweaking it until it inadvertently gets bigger and more complicated and then I get overwhelmed and give up on it for a while. I used to be better at writing coherently…

      Liked by 1 person

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