Don’t go away mad, just go away

The dreaded family visit went better in some ways – and much worse in others – than I had expected. I am still recovering. The parents had a good time, and that was what the day was supposed to be all about – celebrating Father’s Day and my partner’s dad getting to see the house. There were some other issues that aren’t really my place to comment on, except to say that it left my partner feeling kind of manipulated. I was oblivious to it until she pointed it out later, and I’d also been oblivious to the fact that she was just as stressed out beforehand as I was, for many of the same reasons I was, because, well, I’m kind of oblivious sometimes – especially to social nuances.

There were some things that caused me a lot of distress, like a fair bit of damage to our dwarf Japanese maple tree and the fact that my partner’s family (not the parents, who left after about four hours or so) did not leave for almost nine hours! This was one of the reasons I had been dreading this visit so much – it’s been an issue in the past. They knew all of our animals were having to stay locked up, that they were used to eating at five, and that my partner was absolutely exhausted and I am not well and get overwhelmed by too much socializing, and still they lingered. Yawns, eventual silence, pointed mentions of the dogs’ dinnertime having passed, my partner sitting there looking like a zombie with grey circles under her eyes, none of these things had any effect. I was particularly frustrated after her sister even commented that she looked ill, but then didn’t offer to wrap up the visit when she explained that she’d had a really long week, was up until past eleven (if you read my last post you know this was my fault) and then back up at six to cook and clean.

By the time the parents left, I was worn out and fighting a sleep attack, and really wanted to go lay down; I even wondered if maybe that would give them a nudge towards not making an epic long day of it, but I suspected it would not and I didn’t want to leave my partner alone to deal with managing the company by herself. Besides, between the noisy kids and the disgruntled little dogs in their crates in my room, there would be no nap to be had. It was past seven thirty at night when they finally departed. By that point, my POTS was acting up really bad and I’d broken out in the weird rash around my temples I get when I’m run down. I decided that since I already felt like crap, I might as well have a small celebratory ‘Yay! We got our house back!’ shot of absinthe while we sat on the porch together, trying to wind down. I really wanted to go straight to bed, but felt that the dogs and cats deserved to have some time to enjoy themselves since they’d spent most of the day locked up.

Sunday we still had to get out and run all of the weekend’s errands in spite of being wiped out, and then it was right back into a new work week. Ugh. At least I’ve taken a week off next week.

Peopling is something I can just only do in small doses. I was very happy my partner’s parents came to visit and annoyed that it kind of got overshadowed. I love her nephew and his wife, and get along well with her sister too, but this was way, way too much all at once.

At least I made it through without any further meltdowns.

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