I often have strange episodes of synchronicity in my life. Some of that, I am sure, is just the Aspie trait of pattern recognition causing me to connect details that are not anomalous but simply things that would go unnoticed by most people, so they seem significant even though they really aren’t. Other times, though, there is just no rational explanation – such as what happened with the recent ‘plant rescue’.
I also have a permanent soundtrack running in my brain – my own personal jukebox, you could say; there is actually never not a song running in the back of my head. Sometimes it’s just a little snippet repeated over and over, other times an entire song complete with all of the intruments and vocals, just like if I was listening to it on the radio.
It gets annoying if it’s a song I don’t actually like or if the jukebox gets stuck on ‘repeat’ for days on end, but mostly I find it interesting because it will rummage around in my mind and pull out really random songs that I haven’t heard in years.
That was the case yesterday morning. I caught myself tapping my tongue lightly against my top teeth to a song that I had liked when I was four years old. By the way, I guess it’s kind of a stim that I provide the percussion for my ‘soundtrack’ most of the time as well, following the beat using either my teeth or tongue, but always so quiet as to avoid detection by anyone in my immediate vicinity. When I was little, I used to click my tongue loudly, which would drive my mother berserk and I eventually learned not to do it out loud to avoid punishment.
Anyway, I wandered off track there for a moment… Oh yeah, the song. It was this terribly sappy, poppy, and – I learned later as I grew up and understood the words I was repeating – actually kind of disturbing song out in the early seventies called “Seasons in the Sun” by an artist called Terry Jacks. I used to sing the chorus of the song over and over, not understanding at that age that the song was all about someone terminally ill saying their goodbyes to all their family and friends.
I drove everyone around me nuts for several months with that song until I moved on to something else, and I hadn’t thought about it for years until I suddenly found it looping in my head as I was getting ready for work. I thought ‘geez, what made that awful old song pop back into my head after all these years?’
Later in the day, I was playing around on my phone, surfing Facebook, and noticed an old 1973 radio station top 30 chart posted by a page in my feed called Vintage Toronto. As I scanned the list of songs that were playing on that AM pop station back when I was 4, there at number 11 was the song that I’d been playing in my head that morning!
Now, if that post had been put up before I thought of the song, and I maybe saw it without consciously realizing it, that would make sense, but it went up at least two hours afterwards. It’s just one of those things that catches my attention and really makes me wonder.
Featured Image: Hairy golden caterpillar with black and white tufts – probably some species of tussock moth – on a hydrangea bush.