Millipede(less) Monday and burnout

Well, all things must come to an end and there were no millepede sightings in my house last week, thus no Millipede Monday today. Here is a pretty little green lacewing I spotted on my deck railing, instead.

In our house, we nicknamed these ‘tinkerbelles’ since they look like little fairy creatures. Delicate appearance aside, they are actually voracious little predators and considered really useful as beneficial insects because they prey on things like aphids, whiteflies, and spider mites that in turn prey on crops.

The past few days have been challenging, health-wise; for whatever reason, the tachycardia was acting up with a vengeance and several days of being dizzy with my heart racing really wore me down. My Elite HRV app actually registered me in the red zone for the first time, warning that my sympathetic nervous system was abnormally elevated (no shit). Being that exhausted left me little patience for peopling, so I mostly laid low this weekend. 

BP monitor showing low BP and high HR
Ugh… And it got way worse; by Saturday my heart rate hovered between 120-145 any time I was on my feet.

The fatigue also has made it difficult to put together anything coherent as far as blog entries go, which frustrates me. OK, it all frustrates me. Including the fact that my doctor promised after my physical three weeks ago that she’d have some sort of referral plan for me by the end of that week. And then last week, when I reached out again, she said she’d respond that week… nope. Not sure whether she just doesn’t have any idea what to do with me, or if she’s just that busy, but I am not going to pursue it any further. 

I had also sent a message to the cardiologist who prescribed the Florinef, just to keep him in the loop, explaining that I was unable to take it because it made me insanely thirsty and I didn’t retain the large volume of water I was drinking. I said that I was trying salt tablets and salty foods as an alternative, but apparently I didn’t make it clear enough because I got a response chiding me for taking the Florinef with such a high salt diet and suggesting just taking the medication by itself. I suppressed the urge to respond with “read my message again more carefully – I’m not an idiot” but instead took a deep breath and sent a diplomatic clarifying explanation. He is a very nice doctor, and what was crystal clear to me when I composed it just might not have been so clear to him when he read it. 

One of my big personality traits is that I have to be able to understand and control my environment, which includes my health, but this is such a complicated mess I am not able to do either one to my satisfaction, and I have to somehow make peace with that or I am headed for a crash.

I think I need to just take a step back from the whole medical mess again for a while and just dog-paddle along as best as I can, because I can feel it making me shut down… So for now I think I will play with the new kittens, feed bugs to my pet spider, take naps, and try not to focus so hard on figuring this mess out. 

Featured Image: Green lacewing (Chrysoperla rufilabris) on a Grey wood deck rail. 

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