So I realized when I re-read my post from yesterday that it came across a bit like some of that ‘everything happens for a reason’ inspiration-porn that usually annoys the hell out of me, or that it makes it sound like I think having an unfixable medical condition that makes it take every bit of willpower for me to get out of bed some days is just wonderful. I don’t think I really expressed myself right…
My saying I wouldn’t change anything if I could probably comes partly from my reading way too much time-travel science fiction where someone screwed up their entire timeline by going back and trying to fix something 😉 but it also represents feelings of relief, gratitude, and acceptance I am feeling right now.
Relief because I am done going from doctor to doctor trying to be taken seriously and not be treated like a hypochondriac, and I understand myself well enough to keep from getting overloaded – because of all this, my anxiety is so much better. Gratitude because my life is pretty damn good, overall. I have a house I adore, a job where I am appreciated, a stable home life, and people in my life who appreciate me for me. And because of the relief and gratitude, I am feeling acceptance of the things that maybe sometimes are not so great, or even pretty sucktastic now and then.
This morning I sanded down some wall repairs I made in the bathroom I painted with primer last week. I’m feeling pretty accomplished over one of those repairs, as it was a huge hole and I’d never tried to fix something like that before. You can’t even tell where it was! 🙂 I have some other things I am planning on doing, but I am trying hard not to go berserk, do too much, and start the week with a crash.
I hope everyone has a wonderful day! 🌼🌷🌸
Featured Image: Pink-looming azalea bushes in my yard. No filter.